Tag Archive | Hope

First Impressions of a Blogger

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I’ve only starting blogging a few weeks ago and in this short time I must say that blogging is an adventure in and off itself.  I started out with the intention of getting myself ‘out there’ but it has turned into what is becoming a wonderful and powerful new part of my life.

I have found the most inspiring bloggers.  Ones who meld words in such a way that I find myself consumed, carried away to emotions that inspire, empathize, invoke, conjure – you name it – it’s here in the world of blogging.  I’ve found magnificent photographers who need no words to appeal to those same emotions.  I’ve vicariously traveled to wondrous lands where I could only dream of visiting.

But I’ve also found pain.  There are many who have and are fighting hard battles.  Who are utterly courageous in sharing those battles with the world.  Their courage to expose themselves a testament itself to the inspiration they share with others.

I’ve found ones who are questioning and searching for answers about and from God.  Those have left me no alternatives but to ask myself the same questions.  Then there’s the ones who flat out refuse to believe or have explained away the very existence of God.

One of the detriments to blogging that I’m encountering is the lack of laundry getting done, the dust balls curling up around the baseboards and the dog bones left on the floor that I step on getting out of bed in the morning.  I am being drawn to the blog world now and am consumed with each new wonderful post I find.  But, it is a pleasure that I am savoring.

Each word of inspiration and encouragement lifts my soul and confirms to me that I’m on the right track, to never give up on my dreams.  Be they big or small, a daily goal or one I hope to have accomplished a year or even ten years from now.  I’ve also realized that the experiences I’ve had in my life can enable me to be sources of inspiration to others, just as so many are inspiring me.

The wistfullness I feel when I think of some beautiful place like Greece, Australia, Thailand or any of the other hundreds of lands I’d love to visit has become somewhat diminished as I get to read and visit in beautiful pictures these and other wonderful places.  To have a first hand account and be able to speak with people living in these lands or on an adventure there themselves is a joy for me.

Above all, I know from whence cometh my help and God is speaking clearly and lovingly through most all posts.  Even those that are not directly speaking of God, I still hear His voice.  In searching to answer those hard questions from skeptics, my faith has grown greatly and I am blessed to have encountered even those experiences.

I thank you all for welcoming me so warmly to the world of blogging and greatly look forward to continuing this journey with each of you.  Till we talk again, may God bless your each and every moment!

Love, Tammi

Septic Scare

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My Best Friend and Daughter

 I’ve been thinking lately on what it means to be thankful.  My husband died in 2004.  He was 48.  I was ravaged with grief, fear and uncertainty of the future, regret, anger – a myriad of emotions.  Less than a month after his passing, I received a call that ultimately sent me reeling on the precipice I was already barely clinging to.

My daughter had traveled to Nevada to visit family and as she waited to board her flight home, she called to tell me she wasn’t feeling well.  When she arrived at Charlotte, it was evident she was feverish so I got her home and put her to bed with Tylenol for the fever.  Four hours later, when I found the fever had skyrocketed to 105, she was so weak I could barely get my 22 year old baby to the car.  I’m sure there aren’t many who aren’t personally familiar with the long wait time in an emergency room.  When we got there her blood pressure and temp were taken and I should have known right then something was seriously wrong.  Instead, I think it was then that the Lord caught me in his arms.

She was immediately put in a room in emergency where tubes and monitors were hooked to her and even a catheter inserted.  None of the nurses or doctors could offer any words other than “we’re trying to find the problem, please stand back”.  Her blood pressure registered – I have to hold my breath right now to type it – 40 over 17.  It was about that time two nurses laid a defibrillator over my daughter’s legs and unhooked the machines.  They then literally sprinted out, pushing my daughter’s gurney as they ran down a hallway that said ‘no admittance’.  I finally realized there was a nurse standing beside me with her hand on my arm, talking.  Through the haze, I was able to make out that my daughter was being taken to the ICU and that someone there would be able to tell me more.

Long story short – they determined that she had a urinary tract infection that had entered her bloodstream and created sepsis, a potentially fatal infection of the whole body.  As I sat down outside the ICU it finally hit me at how close she was to death.  I was in such a state of shock that no tears came, I just stared.  I mumbled “I can’t make it if she isn’t here” and a friend put herself into my stare zone.  She said “God knows that”, then she smiled and kissed my cheek.  At that very moment, I felt peace and knew she was going to alright.  Not because I knew God wouldn’t take her from me, because I knew He could.  But because He let me know in that very peaceful moment that all would be well.  My soul heard the Spirit speak.

The sepsis had been caught at practically the very moment before it became fatal.  She was in ICU for five days and in a room for another three as they continued monitoring the infections that had tormented her body.  Each day as she got stronger, so did I.  I had been wallowing around in a grief that I know now would have carried my life in an entirely different direction than where it is now.  The lesson I learned from my daughter’s sepsis was to let go of the grief and confusion for things that were gone and be thankful instead for the many blessings I still had with me.

My thinkings lately have led me to know that it was during this time that my subsconsious really registered what ‘thankful’ means.   We come across questions where we’re asked what we’re thankful for – whether it’s in a devotional, a Sunday School lesson.   Or when confronted with problems of others, we offer thanks to God for the many blessings in our own lives.  But how do we thank God for dying on a cross? I’m afraid it’s taken for granted as a ‘story’ to the point that we forget what He actually did. I visualize a friend doing the same for me and it becomes horrific – I would be weeping and gnashing my teeth as I gazed at my friend’s tortured, bloodied body. Never would I be the same.

Through my daughter’s recovery, I was made wonderfully and joyfully thankful for her return to health.  How so very much more thankful I am to think of the Spirit’s guiding presence in every day and the confidence of a future where death will no longer separate me from my loved ones. How so very blessed and thankful I am for the many blessings my daughter, and now my granddaughter bring into my life. All as I bow my head at the base of a blood stained cross.

Cotton Director

Hello Friends,

It’s been a crazy busy couple of days – with trying to figure out setting up this blog, getting a clean professional Facebook page and tending to my personal life as well. But I’m lovin it! On my way now!

I spent the evening visiting with my granddaughter. I took my mother with me and you can see what Gracie had her ‘onto’…….

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My Mother is beginning to show early signs of Alzheimer’s. It’s a time of very mixed emotions – at times I find myself getting frustrated at her because I KNOW she should remember something and other times it’s heartbreaking to watch her search for some simple word. Then are the times I realize I am her daughter and could very well have the same struggle in the years ahead. Once again my determinatoin to fight even that with all I’ve got kicks in. Stay active! Keep your mind tackling new things on a daily basis.

Which, with my occupation, is an accomplishment rendered each day. I am a cotton director for one of the largest providers of spun yarns in the world. Tons of cotton is processed each day and accounting for each bale is mandated by the USDA. Sounds boring, but there’s never a dull moment in the world of cotton accounting. Stressful, yes – dull, no.

But, I have my loyal friend Thunder to wind down with in the evenings. He is a beautiful 110 pound large-boned German Shepherd.
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He had just gotten his teeth around the new bone I’d promised him so he wasn’t up for posing for a picture.

I’m still spending time introducing myself here. I appreciate all the comments and the followings. Let me leave you with the thought that no matter how tough the day, no matter how many discouragements we have to tackle from dawn till dusk – we can take each moment in and choose not to let the negative ripples define our day. “Okay, negativity – that was your moment. The rest is mine.” Then take a walk, smile at someone – it may take smiling at quite a few – until you actually meet someone’s eye, stand tall, and feel yourself rise! Try this, it really does work.

God Bless Each of You.